Personal Testimony

My personal testimony starts at the very beginning of my life when I was born with a congenital heart defect. Back in 1974, there wasn’t even a name for my particular diagnosis. Eventually it was called Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV), which basically means I have a single-functioning ventricle. When I was six months old, I had my first open heart surgery. At that time, my lips and fingernails were turning blue as my body wasn’t able to receive enough oxygen. I had another surgery at the age of 4. When I was 10, I had a surgery called the Fontan, which greatly improved my circulation and got rid of my cyanosis. I felt better physically but I was still, “the girl with the heart condition,” at school. 

Even though I received salvation at the age of 12, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy and not feeling like I belonged. As a result, I began drinking and partying as a way to fit in with my peers. I loved the feeling of confidence that alcohol provided. Not only that, but when I drank, I no longer cared about what people thought about me. Partying also became a way to hook up with guys. When I went away to college, my drinking had turned into full-blown alcohol abuse. My sophomore year, I ended up in the hospital with congestive heart failure. After being hospitalized for nearly a week, I was able to go home to recover. Despite the fact I was put on all kinds of heart medications, I continued to drink when I went back to college. I ended up getting 4 minors in consumption by the age of 21 and spent 30 days under house arrest.

During all of that, my heart never fully recovered and at the age of 25 I needed another open-heart surgery. I knew that God had looked after me since I was a baby, which is why I had no fear going into the surgery. The recovery was very difficult and three months afterward, I had to go back to Mayo to get a pacemaker. Even after all that, I struggled to quit my partying lifestyle. I wanted to start going to church again and to be the person God wanted me to be, but there was a huge battle raging inside me and the devil was trying hard to keep me in bondage. Finally, one day in church I rededicated my life to Jesus and was able to quit drinking. Around this time, I took the opportunity to move to North Carolina. One of the first things I wanted to do was find a church home. I ended up in a hyper-charismatic church that taught the Prosperity Gospel. At that time, I was also introduced to other teachings, such as the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) and the Hebraic Roots Movement.

After two years in NC, I decided to move back home to Watford City. I had met my daughter’s father and due to some “words from the Lord” from people who had prophesied over us individually, we thought it was God’s will for us to marry. Even though I wasn’t sure about marrying him, I believed it was God’s will for my life and that I needed to be obedient. (Sidenote: false teachings in the church can cause a lot of confusion and lead to some not-so-great decisions.)

Seven months after getting married, I became pregnant. Growing up, due to my heart condition, doctors had warned me to not get pregnant. But due to another false teaching, we didn’t do anything to prevent the pregnancy. When I was 26 weeks along, our daughter tried to come into the world. I was airlifted from Williston to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. Thankfully, she stayed in there another 3 weeks. I had a placental abruption during the delivery, so I underwent an emergency C-section. During this time, Faith lost oxygen to her brain, which resulted in extensive brain damage. After spending over 70 days in the NICU, we were finally able to take her home. When she was six months old, she was diagnosed with spastic quadriplegia, which is the most severe form of cerebral palsy. We moved to Bismarck so that all of her special needs could be met.

Around this time, we began going to a church that believed it was always God’s will to heal. This teaching was included in a false teaching called Word of Faith (WOF). Part of this belief was to be really careful what you could said, because your words had power. We could only say things that were positive. For example, we didn’t want to say our daughter has cerebral palsy because this meant we were accepting that as fact. Instead, we said things like, our daughter is being healed of cerebral palsy, in the hopes that our words would create our reality. 

This whole belief system was very difficult as it made us feel like we were somehow responsible for her healing. We also had to pray for deliverance in case she had any demons that were causing her disability. I remember a friend asking God, “what are we missing?” Like there had to be something that was causing her to still be disabled. Also, we needed to believe with all our hearts she would be healed, because even the littlest bit of doubt could prevent it from happening. 

In 2017, God used a medical emergency with my heart to begin to open my eyes to some of the false teachings we believed. We stopped going to the church we had been in, but we didn’t want to start looking for a new church home for fear they would be full of some of the teachings we were trying to get out of. As a result, we became very isolated. Without going into the details, things were becoming even more difficult in our marriage, and we agreed to separate. Rob moved to another town, but we were still doing marriage counseling. Eventually he moved out of state, but I was still hopeful we could work things out.

About 7 months after we separated, my daughter Faith told me she wanted to go to church for Easter. This was totally out of the blue as we had never really talked about going back to church. We decided to go to one that some of our friends went to. We went there a couple of times, but I wasn’t sure it was the right church for us. We tried a few different churches and then on Mother’s Day, ended up at Truth Fellowship Live (TFL).

In October of 2022, after spending Faith’s 18th birthday together, Faith’s dad told me he wanted to end our 19-year marriage. I had only told a few ladies at church what was going on. I appreciated the support and words of encouragement they gave me but still I worried what some people at church would think if they knew. My worst fear was that I would be judged and looked down upon. After one particular message, I felt compelled to e-mail Pastor Terry and tell him about the divorce. I cried my eyes out when I got his response, which was full of grace and compassion. He said it was his prayer that God would provide for all of mine and Faith’s needs on a daily basis. 

This is one reason I wanted to share this testimony…because that’s exactly what God has done! He has provided for all of mine and Faith’s needs, which includes living in a safer, more secure building with underground parking. Not only that, but by being in a church that reveres the word of God and teaches it in context, I have learned more about God’s Word in the short time I’ve been here than I have my entire life! 

I pray that this testimony encourages anyone who reads it, especially those who may be going through a difficult time. This life is not always easy, but God is always good. I’m so grateful to Him for continuing to lead me and guide me to His truth, His love, and His grace. To God be the glory!

NOTE: I did write a book called Having Faith and published it in 2015. However, after learning about some of the false teachings, I decided to unpublish it, and it is no longer available. I do hope one day to write another book detailing my testimony more fully.


Most Popular Posts

My Little Vacay to Nebraska

Image
When one thinks vacation, they probably don't think about Nebraska, especially in November! But when I heard that a friend of mine was going be having surgery in Omaha, I began thinking about how great it would be to go down that way, especially since my sister, Tesa has lived in Lincoln for 17 years, and I have never had the chance to visit.  Lo and behold, my dad had also been talking about heading South to Texas in November to hunt wild pigs. My two respite care workers were available to look after Faith starting on a Friday morning through Tuesday evening. All I had to do was book a flight so I could get back home.  Despite all the details falling into place, I was still anxious about it. I haven't flown since Faith was a baby, so I was especially nervous about that part. I prayed about it and believed that everything would be okay.  On the morning of my departure, Faith woke up just in time and her respite care staff was able to get her dressed and take her to her da...
Read more

My Tetanus Shot Ordeal: A Real Pain in the Arm

Image
Last Wednesday I had my yearly doctor exam and when she said I should get my tetanus shot updated, I didn't think twice about it. The nurse said my arm would be sore for a couple of days, gave me a handout and stuck the needle in my arm.  The next day my arm was sore and although I found it a little harder to pick up and carry Faith, I was glad the pain wasn't going to last long. Boy was I wrong! But not only was my arm sore, my whole body was. I felt achy and extremely tired. According to a medical site on the Internet, these were mild side effects of the Tetanus shot. If these were only mild side effects, I would really hate to have them at a moderate or severe level. My arm is still red and sore on day 2 after my tetanus shot. On Friday, two days after getting the shot I felt so tired that I took a four-hour nap after getting Faith off to school. Then on Saturday I took a three-hour nap up until 7 o'clock, but still felt tired and was able to go back to sleep around 10. ...
Read more

Goodbye to Our Special Tomato Adaptive Car Seat

Image
Today we said goodbye to our Special Tomato adaptive car seat. And special it was. It helped Faith stay safe and secure in our Hyundai driving her back and forth to therapy appointments, shopping excursions, and many other activities. It also helped us through our time of not being able to afford an accessible van. Like all adaptive equipment , the special car seat was expensive and although it is the law that a child is secured in a car seat while traveling in a vehicle, neither health insurance nor Medicaid would pay for it.  Thankfully, we were able to receive funds from the fundraiser, the Great American Bike Race ( GABR ) which helps families pay for services and equipment that insurance doesn't cover for kids with cerebral palsy and related disabilities.  After doing research on the Internet and talking to Faith's physical and occupational therapists, we decided to go for the Special Tomato adaptive car seat. You would think something with that name would b...
Read more

Guest Post: Who Needs Sympathy?

Image
Guest Post by Stephen Gallup Last week, a columnist for the local newspaper interviewed me in connection with a memoir I wrote that’s being published this year. It was a comfortable, low-key discussion in which he asked about the basic facts regarding my disabled son Joseph and what I’ve learned that might be of value to other families. It was the sort of dialog that required no special preparation in advance. I just sat down with him and talked about the subject closest to my heart. But looking back on it now, one thing bothers me. In concluding the interview, the reporter expressed heartfelt sympathy for everything I’ve endured. He was being more than polite. I mean, he laid the compassion on with a spatula. Startled, and already thinking ahead to what I had to do next that day, I just thanked him and said goodbye. But now that final note troubles me. I don’t want sympathy! First of all, from the point of view of a new author hoping to promote his book, sympathy...
Read more