Friday, September 9, 2016

Walking by Faith Not by Sight

Ever since I began this blog (back in 2009), I've always had the faith verse from Hebrews 11:1 on the header. But as of late, I feel the passage from 2 Corinthians 5:7 better reflects our current season of life.

This past year has been one of the more challenging ones we've had in light of caring for our daughter. As she has gotten heavier, I found lifting her has presented opportunities for straining my back. Thankfully, I’ve been able to receive healing through both prayer and the hands of a wonderful friend who is also a massage therapist. At the same time, I know I can no longer lift Faith as I once used to.

Faith hanging out at the eye doctor. She received a good report and still does not need glasses!

 Another huge change is that this past spring, Faith officially became a woman. While this is usually something for girls to celebrate, for us it provided a new set of challenges, including major PMS symptoms. Her sensitivity to loud noises heightens during this time and her already high tone kicks into overdrive, causing her to be very uncomfortable in her chair.

Because of her discomfort, we have spent a lot of time sitting on the couch together and the benefit for me is I have been getting a ton of reading done. A benefit for her is that my body serves as a dynamic seating system so that she’s not stuck in the same position for long periods of time. (Unfortunately, I have to turn down my husband’s suggestions that I submit myself to cloning.) On the upside regarding her cycle, she has been pretty regular so we can prepare for when she's going to be overly emotional and having physical symptoms.

Faith with me and two of her aunties  - look how big she's getting!

At one time Faith did occupational therapy but after a while it was advised Faith get physical therapy instead. Her OT made a recommendation and after being on a waiting list for months due to the fact they had to hire more pediatric physical therapists, we were finally able to get in. The PT has helped somewhat, and along with that, she also continues to see a chiropractor. We are glad to have made the switch to a wonderful lady chiropractor who can help us with some of Faith's hormonal issues.

Besides everything going on with Faith, we have had the most humid summer I can recall in all my years of living in North Dakota. We have had our wall air conditioner running almost nonstop all summer. Faith has a portable air conditioner (thanks to her uncle Todd) in her room that I don't know what we would do without.

Just as I have been feeling the intense heat in the physical realm, I have been feeling it in a spiritual sense as well. There have been days I have felt as though I had reached my limit and hit my breaking point. I have literally felt like I was walking through the fire. As I thought and prayed about it, I realized that it was my own fault. I mean, I had picked the word "RENEW" for my word of the year. How can God make things new without getting rid of the some of the old stuff first?

Many times I have had the thought I am going through the "Refiner's fire." While this was not always a good feeling, it did give me hope that I was going to come out stronger and that it would deepen my trust in God.

Staying nice and cool at Grandma's - Faith and most of her cousins, including the newest addition to our family.

It has certainly been a time of dying to self and I know that although it doesn't feel very good, it will end up being a good thing. It is also somewhat comforting to know that there are many other believers who are going through some very difficult situations. It has been wonderful to lift one another up in prayer.

Recent double rainbow
All of these challenges have caused us to keep our eyes on Jesus more than ever, and to depend on Him for our strength. And as we do, we continue to walk by faith, not by sight and know that whatever has already taken place in the physical realm will one day manifest in the physical.

As for right now I am really looking forward to the next season. I can't wait to feel the cool, refreshing breeze and see the beautiful transition of the leaves that always comes along with autumn.

This video of the song "King of My Heart" has been very encouraging to me during this difficult season. It's a reminder of God's goodness and that He will never let me down!